A Must Read for EVERY Couple

I received this today from a friend on FB. Married or not you should read this...


“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

History in the Making

Tuesday I registered for my last two undergraduate classes. I can't believe it. The way I feel is a feeling that I have NEVER felt in my life. It has actually been difficult to contain myself. I have worked so hard for this day...so many hours of studying, late nights filled with no sleep, and meals skipped...but I will never be able to replace the life lessons learned, the academic knowledge obtained, and the friendships I will hold dear for the rest of my life. December is just right around the corner...my next journey can begin!

To go along with the amazing day I had on Tuesday, I was surprised by my management on Wednesday with my promotion. Something I wasn't expecting AT ALL! After 8 years here at the company, I am finally under the professional salaried staff umbrella...ahhhh, it feels good to be here. They have also agreed to allow me to work a virtual office schedule. I am speechless on how awesome my week has gone.

Life can't get any better!

In Darkness Christ Shed His Light...

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Worship During the Season of Lent

During this time of the year, I always enjoy being reminded of why I became a Lutheran and the importance of having a faith that has a solid foundation. Our Sermon series right now at Risen Savior is "111 Words to Die for," covering the Apostles' Creed. We are reminded in the service bulletin:

"The Apostle's Creed contains 111 words. The first 12 words describe God as a Father "to die for." Today his presence will strengthen our faith in what he has done, and continues to do for us his children."

Pastor David's sermon covered the first 4 foundational words of the Creed: God, Father, Almighty, and Maker.

Here are his points:

God - He is real and he exists (Psalms 14:1). If he isn't real, then we are lost on our own.

Father - He protects and provides. We are no longer slaves, but children of God (Galatians 4).

Almighty - God has all the power; we don't. God is at the center; not us.

Maker - God created all (Genesis 1:1) and he makes all the rules. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight and then we start to make our own rules.

With these points bears the question...Then why do terrible things happen? And Pastor David answered solemnly, "I don't know." And finished his statement by commenting that if anyone tells you that they do, they are not being truthful. The only thing we can find comfort in is that in this awesome universe, we don't have the perspective to understand everything. But we can have faith that God is real, He is our Father, He is Almighty, and that He is maker...and during the awful moments of life, He can make it better...He CAN make it better.

I hope you are enjoying the activities and services at your home churches and congregations during Lent. I am feeling considerably more blessed than normal contemplating how fortunate I am to be given the opportunity to learn the story, and the truth in my salvation. Can I get an Amen? Amen. :-)

Love, Livvie

Week 2 of Paleo...

So, I am on week 2 of my Paleo diet and I feel great. For those of you that do not know what it is, here is a brief explanation:

"Paleolithic diet," also referred to as the actual ancestral human diet, is centered on commonly available modern foods, consisting mainly of fish, grass-fed pasture raised meats, vegetables, fruit, roots, and nuts. It excludes grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar, and processed oils."

This is what the food pyramid looks like:

So far, the only thing that has been difficult is that am getting the 2 PM snack cravings, like most people do, and I head off to the vending machines. One thing I have learned - if they don't have beef jerky, you are out of luck. And that jerky is not what you should be ingesting anyway....so, I need to always have handy a small bag of healthy nuts or a Lara Bar.

I took a week off from my running because the bottoms of my feet were giving me some trouble, and after skiing on Sunday and Monday of last week, I was just plain tired. Plus, catching up on some homework that I didn't get to complete over the weekend left me home bound.

I talked with a girl today at the market and she and I got into a discussion of high protein / low carb diets. She doesn't eat carbs because she is diabetic. Come to find out, she is a professional dancer. I asked her how she keeps up her endurance, and she said that she drinks a large bottle of powerade zero (or whatever the zero calorie one is called) everyday to keep her electrolytes up. I will take that advice and see how it goes. I am going to start running tomorrow, but slowly; only 5 miles. We shall see.

I found a nice saying today that I want to share...I posted it on FB, and everyone really seemed to like it....enjoy!


Love, Livvie xoxo

Fitness Fury and Other Fun (and Not So Fun) Stuff

Today, the Nissan runners and cyclists that were interested, were allowed to run on the Marketability Course at the Proving Ground during lunch. Gosh, that was fun!!!

Only female runner...bringing up the rear (as always!)

I was able to get in two loops (3.88 miles) in 36 minutes...not too shabby for 77 degrees and the sun beating directly down on us. I am looking forward to our next opportunity for "Fitness Fury."

I received my week 2 training schedule for Nashville Rock n Roll today...so many miles! I wasn't able to make my total recommended miles this week (but the week isn't over just yet), but I am still doing much better than I ever thought I would. I need to remember that running MUST take a back seat to school right now...almost done; almost done! Once I graduate, hold on! I will unleash the craziness! :-)

Two exams this coming week...lots of studying. I have a little anxiety because this will be firsts for both classes (the important ones), so you never know what to expect. Summer registration is next week; can't wait. Only one semester after that!!

xoxo | livvie

Life...

Today is a Pink Daisy Kind of Day

Tinkerbell Half Marathon

What is better than pushing your body to the limit and watching it come alive? Doing it with others and watching them experience it as well. We did it! Another 13.1 miles done. It was a really great journey with these girls...and even more fun to cross the finish line together.

This semester is going to be crazy. You probably won't hear much from me except for a little motivation and a few updates here and there. I am almost done with school. I can almost touch it now. I must put that first and foremost...than I can run like a crazy person. :-)

I love you all so much. You give me the strength each day.

xoxo | Livvie

Motivation for the day...

Thought for the day...

In 5 days, I'm gonna fly 13.1 miles....

Sunday Blues...

So today started out really REALLY crappy...I needed a pick-me-up, so I went to my runner's quotes. They made me feel a lot better. Here are a few of my recent favorites. Maybe they can provide you with a little something if you are feeling like me:

"Running is just you, the work you put in, and the clock. You can't cheat yourself. If you don't put in the miles, you can't go to the starting line thinking you're going to pull a miracle out of nowhere. You get out exactly as much as you put in." Desiree Davila

"There are no standards and no possible victories except the joy you are living while dancing your run. You are not running for some future reward-the real reward is now!" Fred Rohe, author of The Zen of Running


"I just go out there and feel like, 'This is hard, but this is great.' I just feel so incredibly alive. And I feel healthy and inspired when I run a race, even if it's not my best day." Tina Ingegneri, Runner's World Challenger of the Week

If you are a runner and don't subscribe to the Runner's World Daily Quotes, I highly recommend it. They really provide me with some positive thoughts for a day that might be headed in the wrong direction. :-)

xoxo Livvie

Why I Succeed...

Happy New Year!

Yeah, I know...a lot of time has gone by since the new year started, but it has been THAT crazy!  What a GREAT year!!  I am so excited for 2012 and the new challenges that will present themselves...and the rewards that will accompany them!  

There were SO MANY wonderful things that occurred in 2011...I wish I had the time to mention them all.  :-)  But here are a few:

I ran my first half marathon with one of my closest friends, Kristin Byrne, in February.  What a fun weekend, and fun race!  In 2011, We completed the Princess Half, the Run Happy 10K in Grosse Ile, and the Detroit Free Press Half together.  I cherish our friendship and hope it continues to grow.  I pray that we will continue to enjoy good health in the future, so that we can continue to take on new races together.  In less than two weeks we will be off to Anaheim, California, to run the Disney Tinker Bell Half.  What a great way to start out the 2012 running year!

I became a God Mother to the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world!  Sarah Lena Walkuski came into our world at 3:01 PM on April 5, 2011, weighing in at 9 pounds and 14 ounces.  She is such a blessing.  How grateful I am to have been chosen as a spiritual guide for this child.  I pray that God will continue to provide His Holy Spirit through me to always direct her in the way she should go.  I love her so much!

Who says prayers aren't answered?  I surely don't.  This year, my sister Jenna reached out to our family.  We are whole...well, as whole as we can be until one more prayer is answered; my mother.  We will continue to ask God to shine his light down, but until then, we will praise Him for bringing our sister back into our lives.  We are so thankful to our merciful Father.  He really is Love.

I hope that each of you had a wonderful holiday season and great 2011.  I hope that your 2012 is filled with love, joy, togetherness, family, friends, and all the other good stuff that makes you smile every day!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

My babies Baxter and Lily

Holiday Updates

Wow!  A lot has happened since I last updated the blog.  I will try to remember everything.  :-)


Thanksgiving
What a great holiday weekend!  Lots of time spent with friends and family...and lots of sports!  Although we lost to Cal State, my first ASU tailgating and football game won't soon be forgetten.  The fact that I was able to share it with Matt, the kids, Kristy, and her entire family made it really special.

  

Sporting our school's colors (she graduated with an ME from ASU)

We celebrated Thanksgiving with southwest flair at Rawhide (second year in a row), the local "old west" themed park.  We panned for gold, watched an old west show, and ate so much red meat we needed to be rolled out of the saloon. :-)  Melissa and I finished off the weekend at As You Wish Pottery where she made Matt a Christmas present and an ornament.  The boys headed over to Dave and Busters for a fun afternoon of arcade game playing.


Running
The family ran the Life Time Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving Day.  Tyler beat Matt (26:26 vs. 27:20), and Melissa and I ran and finished together (33:20).  It was a really REALLY good time.  I think we will plan a few more of those when the kids are here in the future.


My training has been awesome.  I ran the Fiesta Bowl Half Marathon with a PR of 2:17:24, cutting almost 6 minutes off of my last PR.  At a 10:29 pace, I was pretty happy to say the lease!  My goal for Tinker Bell at the end of January is 2:10.  If I continue with my training as is, it should be easy to shave that additional seven minutes off.

Me and "Coach" Brady after the race (he ran a 1:35;08!)

Matt and I ran the 12K's of Christmas a week after the Fiesta Bowl half and I set a new pace for a 12K as well.  I see that I am getting faster and stronger...it is a good feeling to be taking good care of my body and seeing the results.


School
This past semester was very memorable for me.  It was the most difficult thus far.  I pushed myself to the limits as far as studying and saw what I could accomplish with hard work and collaboration with my classmates.  I never felt like I was a student of a specific school back in Michigan.  I feel like I belong here.  I am part of the ASU community.  I AM a Sun Devil.  I finished fall semester strong with three B's and an A.  I am very proud of my success.  Only one year to go! I can't believe it!!


Christmas
I am so dang excited about Christmas.  I get to spend it with my ENTIRE family.  How cool is that.  The first time ever in my life.


I am blessed...blessed beyond belief.

Happy Thanksgiving!

As each of you go to your destinations this holiday weekend, I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving with your friends and family.  Know that I love each and every one of you so much, and miss you all back home in Michigan (and Jerry and Tiff in Tennessee).  Can't wait to see you for Christmas (April for Nashville)!!

Tyler and Melissa will be here later today (so freakin excited, LOL) and we have such a great Thanksgiving weekend planned - southwest style!  We will see some cowboys, eat some good steak (we all chose to pass on the turkey this year), head over to tailgate and watch some good ASU football with a bunch of our friends and run in the Lifetime Turkey Trot.  I think Missa and I will be going to As You Wish Pottery as well because she did really well on her report card...I am hoping to talk her into decorating ornaments. :-)

Training going well...last night was a good night!

5.5 Miles on My New Shoes!

So, I got my new running shoes last night...for $30 off!  I was geeked.  Matt was pretty shocked.  He thought for sure that I would be spending my paycheck on running shoes...which I usually do.  :-)  Funny enough, I bought the wrong shoes.  However, the ones I purchased were just named the best shoe in the world (click here for information)...are you kidding me?  Even better!  I had thoughts about taking them back because I don't like changing what works well, but I decided to test drive them instead, and I was pleasantly surprised.  I usually do my short quick run on Wednesday/Thursday, but I was comfortable in my new shoes, breathing well, and enjoying it way too much.  It was gorgeous outside!  You couldn't have ask for a nicer evening.  NOW I know why I love living here.  Only 16 more days for the race.  I am excited.  I am going to run another 6-8 miles tonight.  I want to get some wear on these shoes.


Mom and Dad have been gone now for a couple of days, and the house is so quiet again.  Can you believe that when I got home the last evening they were here, they surprised us with all our patio furniture cushions?  I was blown away.  We needed new cushions terribly because the sun had bleached out the ones we had.  Plus, they were the original ones that Matt had at the Troy home, so they were just simply old.  The new ones are beautiful; I love them.  I am so thankful to have Mom and Dad.  They are the best in-laws in the world.


Thankfully, the kids will be here in only a few days.  We have an entire weekend filled for them of fun activities.  I think it will be a nice little break for them (and us!).  I miss them...I miss them so much.


Only a couple more weeks of school...the tension has begun.  I am doing some extra credit on campus tomorrow for my Finance 331 class...it should be interesting.  I really have grown to enjoy being a student of ASU.  This weekend is the ASU / UofA Game.  Go Devils.  Beat the Wildcats!  No pity for the kitty!!!  :-)

I Am...

I Did...

This Christmas Season

Twas the month before Christmas

When all through our land,

Not a Christian was praying

Nor taking a stand.

See the PC Police had taken away

The reason for Christmas - no one could say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing

About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say

December 25th is just a ' Holiday'.

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit

Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod

Something was changing, something quite odd!

Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa

In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down

At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.

At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears

You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty

Are words that were used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen

On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter

To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith

Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded

The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'

Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say

Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,

not Happy Holiday!

Please, all Christians join together and

wish everyone you meet

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christ is The Reason' for the Christ-mas Season